Ambivalence
by TheGhostOrchid
Summary: A series of one-shots. GaLe and other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first fanfic ever written, the first story at that. Please criticize my writing as I do wish to improve.

DISCLAIMER: l DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL AND ALL RIGHTS RESERVE TO MASHIMA HIRO.

Love. Just when you're at its peak, it can drag you to the depths of despair. So why fall in love? Is the moment of happiness really worth all the sadness it brings along? Is it really better to love then to not love at all?

However, whenever I see him from afar,

His long, raven hair would ever so glisten.

His devilish smile would make my heart go wild.

Yet, whenever he ignores me, my heart feels as if it had been shattered into a thousand pieces.

How can love be as hot as a summer day and as cold as the longest winter months?

I ever so long to confess my love,

but I am a coward;

afraid of what his response may be.

Why would he fall for a petite girl like me?

My hair is ever in a mess.

I am short and pathetically weak.

No one with the right mind would find me striking.

So why do I still long for him?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: this is my second story written in Mira's POV.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL

_Idiots. Why must they deny their feelings? The way Levy blushes in Gajeel's presence- how he subtly watches over her every movement. It obvious that they're in love, so why deny it? Yet every time I thought they would confess, he would start to acting cold and indifferent. Just a moment ago, he had saved her from falling. Just like a scene from her beloved novels, they would share a kiss after realizing the importance of each other's existence. What truly occurred was a fight. A fight! How childish. Why must he tease her of her clumsiness-why does she not notice his concerns? In one moment, I would see sparks fly, while in another, the flames would die down. How confusing is this love!_

"Mira, what are you looking at?"

"Two idiots in love. How can they not realize their feelings! It's been over seven years if you include the time skip!"

"Yes, how can YOU not realize YOUR feelings? It's obvious you're in love."

"What are you getting at Lucy?"

"Nothing, just a certain demon and a certain someone. But I do have to ask, who do you like best? Fried or Laxus."

"No one."

"Denial. "

_Denial? I am not denying feelings that do not exist. He's changed and became sweeter towards me. Fine I do like him. But I cannot confess, for the fear of losing the friendship we share. Fear. Maybe this is the very feeling from preventing Gajeel and Levy from progressing. I see now; the way they pretend to be indifferent was a way from preventing them from showing their true feelings. Now the question is how to make them overcome this fear. The future, that beholds them, will be bright if my plans succeed. I do wish for their happiness as much as I enjoy toying with fate. I guess that does make me a demon._

A/N: Yes, Mira's a hypocrite in this story. Currently, I cannot decide between Mira and Freed or Mira and Laxus. I Love them both so I'll let your imagination decide.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating in a long time. It took me awhile to figure out what to write and after a long debate, I decided to change my writing style a bit as an experiment. Please tell me if you like my previous style better or if I should continue with this one :D**

**DISCLAIMER: Once again I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

In which Gajeel Flirts

_12 o'clock. I looked around the room; flame-head was fighting with stripper, obviously. Bunny-girl was complaining about her rent. Typical. That booze-chick was drinking-as usual. But no sign of bookworm. I looked back at the clock. 12:01. it's noon she should be here by now. I looked around again-noticing how her two "boy-toys" were moping about her absence. _

"Looking for Levy?" Lily said with a smirk.

"Tsk and what makes you think I'm looking for that shorty?" He said while his eyes continue to scan through the room.

"Seeing how you haven't touched your plate of food and how you're always looking at Levy's usual seat…"

"Shaddap!" He said stuffing his face with a hand full of iron.

"Just admit it. You likeeeeee her~"

"You've been hanging around flame-head's cat for far too long."

_"I'm not looking for her," I mentally screamed. It's just impossible to not realize she's missing when her two pets are always fawning over her when she's her. _

"Maybe you should check up on her, Gajeel, if you're that worried, "Lily stated with a knowing smile.

_Ya, sure- like that will go well. "Oh hey Levy, I'm just being stalkerish and realize you're not at the guild so I dropped by to say hi."_

"And why should i?"

"Because you're obviously in love."

"Prove it"

"You stare at her constantly whenever she's around."

"That's because she's a magnet for trouble."

"You always flirt with her"

"I DON'T FLIRT!"

"Oh ya? Then care to explain why you two were throwing glitter at each other a week ago?"

"HEY! She started me and it's not like I can back down from a fight even!"

* * *

_"Gajeel! Can you stop sitting there and help decorate. It's master's birthday today and we have to finish the decorations for his surprise party before we get back."_

_"What's the big deal? PLUS I don't decorate"_

_"Erza said everyone that's apart of Fairy Tail MUST help and as far as I know, you're a member of this guild too. AND, if you don't help, Erza's going to murder you"_

_"I can take her on"_

_"Fine! Be a jerk!" Levy said angrily; throwing whatever she held in her hands at him- some inflated balloons and a jar of glitter. Coincidently, the lid opened just before it hit him and proof! He was "sparkle-fied". _

_"Oi! Your gonna pay for that!" And he grabbed what little glitter remain within the jar and threw it at her. Before he knew it, a full out "glitter" war was ensued and they both became covered with glitter from head to toe. It took forever before they stopped "Sparkling"._

* * *

"Just go check up on her if you're that worried" He said and left the iron-dragon slayer to his thoughts.

Before he had time to respond, he sensed Levy coming in through the main door and instantly turned his attention towards her. She ran up to her teammates and greeted them mumbling incoherently about how she got absorbed into a book she was currently reading and didn't notice the time. He let out a sigh of relief unconsciously and started walking towards her.

"Hey Gajeel" she said with a smile.

"Hey Shrimp"

"It's Levy. L-E-V-I and not shrimp"

"Whatever you say munch-kin"

Watching this scene from afar, Lily smirked to himself.

"And he says he doesn't flirt"

* * *

Worst ending ever. I just really didn't know how i should've ended this.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry everyone, for not updating in a while. I've been very busy. Even though I wrote this awhile back, I wasn't able to decide whether to post this as a one shot, or an intro to a new story. Anyway, this story is more angst then anything so if you don't like tragic stories, I suggest you skip over this. AGAIN, I do not own fairy tail, as much as I wish I did :D**

**Whole story is a letter written by Levy.**

**ITALICS: past events (already happened so you can think of it as he reflecting upon the past).**

**I apologize in advance for any confusion the POVs and flashbacks this story may bring.**

* * *

"Marry me..." those two words kept ringing in my head. Fate was cruel. Just when I was at the brink of happiness does it trap me within its clutches and send me into the deepest pit of despair._ "Levy McGarden, for every waking minute, no second of my life since I met you, you have tormented me with your horrible doe-like eyes and insufferably sweet scent. So I demand you compensate me by marrying me. "_Those words linger in my head like a sweet melody as it had been my dream for Gajeel Redfox to purpose to me. In front of the whole guild no less. I remember cheering and cat-calls could be heard as Gajeel twirled me around in his arms as we shared a passionate kiss; only breaking apart when we both ran out of air. Little did I know at that time that happiness would be a part of the distant memory. To Lucy, Erza, Gray, Natsu, Juvia, Wendy, Jet and Droy, Master, all my beloved friends in Fairy Tail, and Gajeel, I hope not that you will ever chance upon this letter, then I guess it's fate's cruel joke to bring upon sadness to the people I love.

I will begin at the very beginning, not when I was born but when fate decided I was its next victim.

* * *

It all started after we came back from the Grand Magic Games. I can still remember the days we partied in celebration of saving Fiore from the brinks of destruction. Naturally, we regained the title of the number one guild and reclaimed our old guild. Of course, moving back into our old guild was a lot of work; years of neglect of left parts of the building to rot. But no matter the amount of labour involved, I can still see the smiles plaster upon our sweaty faces as we rebuild the guild, our home. It was then when it had started. As usual, Natsu and Gray were having a competition to who came carry more logs.

_"Those two idiots are giving me a headache, "Lucy sighed as she watched as the argument develop into a full out fight._

_"Well this IS Fairy Tail, although for once I have to agree with you Lu-chan," I said, inwardly laughing at how much I'm starting to sound like Lucy. I watched Erza lecture how fellow teammates and how they obediently did what she said._

_"ehhh?! Are you alright, Levi-chan?"_

_"Ya, it's just a minor headache. It's probably caused by the lack of sleep I'm having these days," I lied._

_"Maybe you should go home for the day?" She said, "Hey Gajeel! Levy's sick so can you take her home?"_

_Gajeel rush over here when he heard her._

_"What's wrong shrimp?" Gajeel said with a worried expression._

_ He rarely showed any "weak" emotion; I was the only person, besides Lily, who saw this side of him. I chuckled at him when I saw his expression. _

_"Ya, just a minor headache. It's nothing serious."_

_"Come on, I'll take you home."_

At first I dismissed my mild headaches as fatigue and the lack of sleep. I thought a good night's rest will due and thought nothing more of it. However, as the weeks went on, the headaches became more frequent and intolerable. That was the first sign. The second sign: bruising.

_I walked into the guild feeling very tired as I had just finished a long mission with Jet and Droy. Mira warmly welcomed us as we headed towards our usual table. Just as I was about to sit down, I felt a pair of strong arms lift me up. I turned around to find the iron dragon slayer looking intently at me._

_"Gajeel! Put me down!" I said._

_"You're hurt"_

_"What?"_

_"You're hurt. There a huge bruise on your arm" He stated in frustration._

_I looked down at my arm to find a bruise that was not there before. "Strange. I don't remember getting hurt during the mission," I thought to myself._

_"WHAT?! LEVY'S HURT!" I heard my teammates voiced laced in panic beside me._

_"It's nothing guys. I probably bumped into something on the way back. I'll get Wendy to look at it later," I said hoping to calm my overprotective teammates down._

_"Wendy's out on a mission. We're going to the hospital now," Gajeel growled, threw me over his broad shoulders and started heading towards the door. _

_"Ey? It really isn't that bad," I protested much to his annoyance. _

_T_he doctor there inspected my wound and gave me some ointment for it. He also advised me to do a check-up when I told him about my headaches-which I agreed to. I thanked him as he told me to come back in a few days for my results. Little did I know at the time that a single sheet of paper will change my life forever.

* * *

Like any other day, I was at the guild reading a new book I had just purchased. I did not notice the looming figure beside me until it snatched away the object of my attention. I looked up to see Gajeel and was just about to protest when he went down on one knee.

_"Levy McGarden, for every waking minute, no second of my life since I met you, you have tormented me with your horrible doe-like eyes and insufferably sweet scent. So I demand you compensate me by marrying me," He said._

_I was in complete shock, as was the entire guild. _

_I heard Mira shout, "MARRIED?! BUT THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING?!"_

_"What are you talking about? They started going out just before the S-class exams 7 years ago," Natsu stated._

_"WHAT?!" the whole guild yelled._

_"Wasn't it obvious? They smelt like each other and they were always sneaking out of the guild together," Natsu said._

I regained my composure as tears, that I did not know I was holding back, fell down my cheeks. I smiled at him as I nodded my head. He threw his arms around me and spun me around. At that moment I was the happiest person alive. But my happiness did not last long. Three days after the proposal, I was diagnosed with leukemia and it was at its final stages. The doctor had recommended for me to take treatment as it will prolong my life for a couple more months. I did not hear him as I was panicking in the inside; denying what had just been said. _"I am going to die," I thought to myself. "Gajeel..."a voice whispered in my head. _As painful as the news was to me, I can only imagine the pain that it will bring towards those dear to me. That's when I decided; I will leave and find a place to die alone as I cannot bear to see the pain my condition will bring to my friends and most of all my finance, Gajeel.

"_I asked the doctor how much time I have left in the most composed voice I managed to mustered up, and begged him not to tell a soul about my disease. I left after I managed to get his word, made my way back to Fairy Hills and walked into my room before I broke down and cried. It took me a whole day before i was able to accept the fact that i only had 2 months to live."_

* * *

That night, after I finally calmed down, I made my decision to leave. But knowing how Gajeel would never be able to forget about me if I left without a single word, I have decided to do the cruellest thing a person can ever do; leave him at the altar. He would be heartbroken at first, but he would soon learn to hate me for my actions. All I wish for is for him to find a new soul mate and knowing his personality, it would be impossible for him to open his heart to anyone if he knew I died. So on the day of my wedding, I packed a small luggage secretly and bought a random train ticket.

_"Gajeel Redfox, do you take Levi McGarden, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part.?"_

_"I do."_

_"And do you Levi McGarden, do you take Gajeel Redfox, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part.?"_

_"I do…not," I said, as I softly cried in the inside, "I'm sorry Gajeel, I love you and I really do want to be your wife"_

_"WHAT?!" the whole guild screamed._

_"L-levy, what are you saying?" Gajeel, after getting over his initial shock, finally said._

_"I'm sorry Gajeel, but over the course of this month, I realize that I just can't marry you. In all honestly, I'm still scared of you; scared of what you had done to me! I just can't forgive you for what you had done to me, all those years ago, as much as I tried to deny it. I'm sorry," I lied as tear ran down my cheek and I ran for the door._

_I ran back home to get my luggage and left on the train. I did not dear look back._

* * *

If you are reading this Gajeel, I am really sorry for leaving you like that and I want you to know that I really do love you. I know I am contradicting myself to reveal the truth in this letter but I cannot help myself. I am weak and cannot bear to bring this secret with me to my grave. I am truly sorry and I wish you would one day forget about me. To everyone in Fairy Tail, I want to thank you for all for being my family.

Levy Redfox.


End file.
